Quarter life crisis!

You know those moments in life that bring you to a 'T' in the road...well I've been experiencing that over the last three weeks, but it was more like a 5 way stop instead of just a 'T'. After losing my job and looking desperately for another one, I kept thinking 'why did this happen to me?' and 'what am I going to do?'. I guess you could call it a quarter life crisis. I was stuck in a hard position, I have a degree but no experience and with not many people hiring they go first for the people with more experience. It's been so frustrating.

I saw Luke Russert on Oprah the other day and he made the point that this financial crisis isn't just affecting the older generation with retirement and homes. In fact many young people are feeling the pains just as much. We are graduating and have nothing to look forward to as far as employment, its getting much more difficult to purchase homes and cars, we might have problems getting student loans, many young people live without health insurance, and young people are struggling with the thought that its going to be us that have to fix/pay for this mess and in the meantime we are seeing the American dream slip through our fingers. Sure it might not be that bad right now, but its almost inevitable.

I've been thinking about all this lately and kicking myself for not getting a degree in nursing or teaching, something I would absolutely hate, but at least I would have job security. In my career situation my options include moving out of state for better opportunities, getting a job I hate outside my field for $10 an hour, doing some freelance work that could be unreliable, or I could just sit around and hope for things to get better. To me all of those options seem depressing and I have been mopping around the last few weeks thinking my life sucked.

Then it suddenly came to me today, I have another option I hadn't even thought of. I have wanted to get a masters in architecture for the last few years. But I didn't take it too seriously because part of me thought Marc is going to med school it will be too hard...and I'm not smart enough...and since I came from a family where no one has ever received a professional degree I somehow am incapable and undeserving...and that I would be an old maid if I didn't have a baby soon.

But today I had this conversation with myself: I know I lost my job for a reason, why is everything blowing up in my face? Maybe I'm approaching this totally wrong. Well what other choices do I have? Maybe I should go to nursing school for real, they had tons of ads in the classifieds today. What!? That makes absolutely no sense. I would hate it. Duh! I should get a masters in architecture! I can't do that! Well why not? Because xyz (mentioned above). Then the spirit spoke to my heart: you live in country where you are free to do anything you want with your life, you are young and smart, and capable of doing anything you set your mind to. Of course it will be hard, and you will have to make sacrifices, but I will be there on your right hand and on your left, and my spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up. After digesting for a moment I realized this plan of attack would give me a much better leg up on employment and truthfully I am not ready to start a family anytime soon and what better way to spend my time.

Very scary. After I picked myself up off the floor and told Marc...he had an immediate panic attack, not that he doesnt support me but he realizes the magnitude of student loans we would accumulate. Architecture school is 5th in line as far as expensive behind medical, dental, veterinarian, and law. Not only that he is convinced we would be very stressed out. What's another couple of years of upstream swimming?! I am lucky I married a man who believes a woman should follow every dream they have and that its not my job to support him, but its both our jobs to support each other.

My next step is to meet with the University of Utah architectural program advisor on Wednesday, and see what happens (I may have to check out other schools depending on where Marc gets into med school). Don't you just love when life is funny?!